All right? - this is used a lot around London and the south to mean, "hello, how are you"? You would say it to a complete stranger or someone you knew. The normal response would be for them to say "all right"? back to you. It is said as a question. Sometimes it might get expanded to "all right mate"?

Aluminium - this is aluminum to you. Dunno why they are spelt and pronounced differently. It is pronounced Al-u-min-i-um.

As well - you chaps say also when we would say "too" or "as well". For instance if tony (my out-law) ordered a miller lite, I would say "I'll have one as well". Of course in england you wouldn't say it for fear of embarrassment - you'd order a real pint of lager instead!

Autumn - the season after summer. fall is something we do when we get drunk!

b&b - all over England and the rest of the uk you will see signs outside people's houses with b&b on them. These are bed & breakfasts and are the cheapest kind of accommodation available here.

bank holiday - There are about five bank holidays every year in blighty. They are the days that everyone has off. They are called bank holidays because the banks close on them, as do most businesses. In america they are called public holidays. Examples would be august bank holiday, new year's day and spring bank holiday.

Bill - don't ask for a check at the end of a meal in the UK - you'll just confuse the waiter or waitress. They won't know whether you want a health check, spell check or a time check! Ask for the bill.

Blast - an exclamation of surprise. For example - paul: "Wolves have just pipped west brom to the final promotion position". Yann: "Blast!"

blighty - another word for england.

Blimey - another exclamation of surprise. One can also say "gawd blimey" or "gor blimey" or even "cor blimey". It is all a corruption of the oath god blind me. Beany and Vanessa might now say "blimey - o - riley". Geddit!?

Blinding - if something is a blinding success - it does not mean that any eyes were poked out with sharp sticks - it means it was fantastic.

Bloody - one of the most useful swear words in english. Mostly used as an exclamation of surprise i.e. "bloody hell" or "bloody nora". Something may be "bloody marvellous" or "bloody awful". It is also used to emphasise almost anything, "you're bloody mad", "not bloody likely" and can also be used in the middle of other words to emphasise them. E.g. "Abso-bloody-lutely"! Frequently used by meg!

Boxing Day - The day after christmas day (a bank holiday in england). Over used by paul on a recent christmas trip to the usa.

Brill - short for "brilliant". Used by kids to mean cool. Used by andrew thiele with an odd accent to try to appear english!

Butchers - to have a butchers at something is to have a look. This is a cockney rhyming slang word that has become common. The reason "butchers" means a look even though it doesn't rhyme is because it is short for "butchers hook" and "hook" of course, does rhyme.

Cheerio - not a breakfast cereal. Just a friendly way of saying goodbye. Often used by paul, much to the annoyance of meg.

Cheers - this word is obviously used when drinking with friends. However, it also has other colloquial meanings. For example when saying goodbye you could say "cheers", or "cheers then". It also means thank you.

Chuffed - you would be chuffed to bits if you were really pleased about something. Like getting married to meg.

cockney rhyming slang - There are lots of words that make up cockney rhyming slang. These are basically rhyming words like "butchers hook" which means "look". If you are in london and you hear someone talk about a septic they are probably talking about you - because it's short for "septic tank" which equals "yank", which is our word for an american. For more details there are lots of sites dedicated to this subject, including this one

Cor - you'll often hear a brit say "cor"! It is another one of those expressions of surprise that we seem to have so many of. It will sometimes be lengthened to "cor blimey" or "cor love a duck", depending on where you are. "Cor blimey" is a variation of "gawd blimey" or "gor blimey". They are all a corruption of the oath "god blind me".

Crap - the same word in both countries - but much less rude here.

Crikey - yet another exclamation of surprise. Some people say "crikey moses". Also used by penfold (aka batesie) to dangermouse.

Dear - if something is dear it means it is expensive.

DIY - this is short for do it yourself and applies mainly to diy stores. Meg is the queen of diy shows on tv.

Dodgy - if someone or something is a bit dodgy, it is not to be trusted. Dodgy food should be thrown away at home, or sent back in a restaurant. Dodgy people are best avoided - you never know what they are up to. Beany has dodgy sideburns.

Dosh - this is a fairly common word for money.

Draughts - checkers to you.

Drink up - in a pub, 10 minutes before closing time you will hear the barman shout "last orders please". This tells you to get the last round in before it is too late. When the clock strikes 11pm, they will then shout "time" to tell you it is too late to order any more. You now have 20 minutes to drink up after which time it is illegal to drink. This is called "drinking up time". May precede a lock-in or a trip to the wessex rooms.

Dummy - pacifier for a baby. Also the mannequin in a clothing shop window or someone who has no brain. Also what paul used to sell to si rayner on a 5-a-side pitch!

Excuse me - this is what kids are taught to say when they belch in public. Unfortunately in american "excuse me" means you are encroaching in someone's personal space and you say "pardon me" when you don't hear someone properly. Imagine our surprise when we discovered that actually americans are not belching all the time.

Fag - probably the most famous troublesome word for brits in the usa. If brooksie said he felt like a 'fag' in england, he would mean that he fancies a cigarette.

Fiver - a fiver is a five pound note. Our notes are all a different colour and different size. This, along with subtle but bold shapes on each note, helps partially sighted people and blind people to handle money as well as the rest of us.

Flat - appartment to you guys. meg & paul's flat is in clapham, south london.

Football - Soccer to you. The national sport - also called footy. Famous teams include manchester united, liverpool and wolverhampton wanderers (the wolves). One of the few sports that John Catterfeld is better than his brother at.

Fortnight - two weeks. Comes from an abbreviation of "fourteen nights". Hence terms like "i'm off for a fortnights holiday" meaning "I am going on a two week vacation".

Give us a bell - this simply means call me. You often hear people use the word "us" to mean "me".

Gobsmacked - amazed. Your gob is your mouth and if you smack your gob, it would be out of amazement. Paul was gobsmacked when he saw big vern without his moustache.

Good value - this is short for good value for money. It means something is a good deal.

Gutted - if someone is really upset by something they might say that they were gutted. Like when you just miss last orders or hear your favourite football team has lost!

Handbag - a woman carries a handbag. A man will never understand the contents of one. You call them purses, which is confusing for us because a purse is something that goes in the handbag and contains money.

Hen night - the equal and opposite of the stag night. Naturally girls are worse but still manage to blame it all on the chaps. Meg is having about three of these! bachelorette party or shower.

Hiya - short for hi there, this is a friendly way of saying hello.

Knackered - the morning after twenty pints and the curry, you'd probably feel knackered. Or how saville and stu felt after the first half of an aberdeen rugby game.

Lift - the american elevator. In England we don't talk in the lift, unless we are with close friends or colleagues. Even then, as soon as someone else steps in, all conversation stops! In america, these rules do not apply. Americans in england should attempt to abide by the english lift laws, or may accidentally upset the natives, who will be giving each other strange looks! These rules also apply on the tube. A lift is also something you get by standing at the side of main roads with your thumb out.

Mate - most chaps like to go to the pub with their mates. Mate means friend or chum. Hello mate is meg's most famous English phrase - ask her to say it!

Nice one! - if someone does something particularly impressive you might say "nice one"! to them. For example: Ollie: "Wolves have just got promoted". Catto: "Nice one!".

On about - what are you on about? That's something you may well hear when visiting the uk. It means what are you talking about? Often used during conversations with pottsie.

Pear shaped - if something has gone pear shaped it means it has become a disaster. Leicester City's season has gone pear shaped.

Pence - the one hundred pennies that make up a british pound are called pence. The same as you have cents. However, you will often hear people calling them "p". So if you are asked for 50p you are expected to hand over fifty pence.

Porkies - more cockney rhyming slang. Short for "porky pies", meaning "pork pies". Rhymes with lies.

Postcode - zipcode to you chaps. Postcodes are in the form sw12 0bh where the first two letters tell you the main postal town (sw=south west london) and the rest narrows down your house to the nearest 6 houses. That means that with just your house number and postcode anything can be delivered anywhere in the uk. Who says we're a third world country, meg?!

Pub - the cornerstone of british social life. Every village has a pub, or several. These tend to be friendly sociable places go for pie and pint, meet the locals, get a cheap meal and drink some of that nice, warm british beer, we know you like so much. They usually have a beer garden and maybe a skittle alley, pool table and always a fruit machine or two. Town and city pubs come in several varieties. There are the drinking men's pubs, where the guys who leave the missus at home go, to chat to their mates and have a fag. There are the trendy, loud, expensive yuppie pubs. There are the family pubs which have separate rooms where kids can go, and they have lots of food and a playground and then there are the nice ones. You should expect to visit many pubs during your time in ireland and england.

Pub crawl - not quite as literal as it sounds, a pub crawl consists of drinking a pint at as many different pubs as possible, one after the other. Towards the end of the evening the "crawl" bit starts to take effect. Often followed by a curry! Similar to your bar hopping.

Queue - brits have never stood in line. But they have queued - at the post office, the deli, in traffic. We like to queue almost as much as you like to stand in line.

Quid - a pound in money is called a quid. It is the equivalent to the buck or clam in america. A five pound note is called a fiver and a ten pound note is called a tenner.

Quite - when used alone, this word means the same as absolutely! For example; madeline: "Doesn't meg look smashing in her wedding dress"; baz: "quite".

Round - when you hear the words "your round" in pub, it means is your turn to buy the drinks for everyone in the group - lyle: take note! Since beers are more and more expensive these days, the art of buying the rounds has developed into ensuring you buy the first one before everyone has arrived, without being obvious! Many of paul's friends have developed this skill!

Rubbish - the stuff we put in the bin. Trash or garbage to you. You might also accuse drummond of talking rubbish.

Smashing - If something is smashing, it means it is terrific.

Spondulicks - Another word for your money. This one dates back to the last century but the origin remains unknown. Some people say "spondulies".

Stag night - Before paul gets married, he and his buddies will go out on a stag night - the object being to get as drunk as possible before the happy day! You call it a bachelor party.

Stone - a stone is british weight and the equivalent to 14 pounds. Paul weighs about 13 stones!

Strop - if someone is sulking or being particularly miserable you would say they are being stroppy or that they have a strop on. The wee man got into a huge strop when scotland failed to qualify for the world cup finals.

Tenner - a tenner is a ten pound note. Our notes are all a different colour and different size. So if you are asked for a tenner in England - get out your dosh, not a fat man with a good singing voice!

Tube - the london underground system is called the tube. You have a subway in new york. In england it is also called the underground.

wc - this is never said, but seen on signs in england and across europe. short for "water closet" and simply means loo, toilet or restroom.

Zed - the last letter of the alphabet. The english hate saying zee and only relent with names such as zz top (zed zed top does sound a bit stupid!).